Rubber bands round my soul

For Christmas one of the gifts I wanted and got (thanks Geena!) was a memoir called "Hurry Down Sunshine" by Michael Greenberg. Thanks to some car "trouble" at the lake Christmas Day I got trapped out in the wilderness (or warm cottage with a crackling fire) for an extra day (a christmas miracle, really), giving me lots of time, in between marathon games of Trivial Pursuit with the fam, to read read read.

The book is written by a 15 year old girl's father about her sudden psychosis, how it all unravelled, and how they tried to piece things back together. Mental health has always intruiged me, how someone can be ill without any outward signs. Even the experienced doctors in the book have no real answer as to why these things happen. Brain chemicals, neurotransmitters... but no one seems to know what sets things off down the road to some mental illness. It sounds like it may be a depressing book, and it kind of is, but I can't stop reading it...

As I was out for a run yesterday I went past the psych ward at St. Boniface and thought about people spending their holiday there. Personal experiences make my heart break when I think of things like this. It is a horrible feeling to love people and see them sick, yet not be able to fix it with a cast or antibiotics. At the same time I sometimes wonder what's the fine line between any of us breaking down. Ane Brun sings: "I wear rubber bands round my soul... they keep me from falling". When I think about it this way it makes me want to treat everyone with a little more kindness, a little more love, and a little more gently. A rubber band can easily snap, and although we are strong and hardy folk (to see people bustling about in -40 windchill proves this), we are also a delicate mix, our hearts pumping through hundreds of tiny vessels, keeping our souls held together.

Ane Brun: Rubber and Soul- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xF92Q884ezE

Sweet Lil Gal

I know that right now I should be probably be discussing Christmas or some holiday-related topic. But between working 7 days a week and staving off a cold I haven't had a whole lot of time to get into the spirit of the season, besides the rushing around part of it all. The most Christmasy thing I did was sing in a small choir at a Christmas concert at church... Amy Grant...Breath of Heaven.. if you know who she is I needn't say more, because that moment made up for the lack of other festivities going on!

Yet I am still getting quite excited that tomorrow is Christmas eve, family gathering, swedish meatballs, family broomball showdown after dinner. Plus, the 25th is a day off... try to wrap that under the tree, Santa!

Totally off-topic, and what was on my mind when I began writing this entry was a song that made my morning. Not that I'm complaining, because I do sound like quite the whiner right now... trust me, it's all good, but I haven't had time or made the effort to crack out the Christmas cds this year either. Apart from some Elvis Christmas (which, by the way, is a fantastic album!) and Sarah McLachlan at work I haven't heard much. So this is just a song that is not related to anything, but is still wonderful, as Ryan Adams always is.

(Still trying to figure out how to link, you'll just have to copy and paste if you really care enough to hear the song).

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6bYdRQhQ17o

Popsicles on my nose

I have been a fairly neglectful blogger in the last while. Considering it's been -40something outside and my eyebrows freeze into a very attractive icicle unibrow when I spend more than ten minutes outdoors, it seems I should have lots of time to sit at the computer and share my brilliant thoughts with the 2 people who actually read this blog...

But alas, I have been taken in by season 7 of Gimore Girls on DVD. For the last week every spare minute has been taken over by my obsession with watching this show. I ignored the bank, grocery shopping, and possibly even personal hygiene. And today I finished it... hence, the reason I am sitting here typing, trying to distract myself from the gaping hole the end of the show has left in my heart.

I'm just not ready. I still have at least 3 months of winter left... I have decided the only cure for this is to find a new show I have never seen, preferably one with at least 5 solid seasons, which I will rent one by one, and watch non-stop while consuming copious amounts of banana bread and tea.

That, or I could shower and sweep the layer of dust off the floor...

one of those days

it's one of those days... and not in a bad way.

a morning full of people i love telling me they care for me.

hugs from sweet old ladies i hardly know (i'll take a free hug anyday!) followed by hardy handshakes from their husbands.

buffet lunches full of german meat (even i can appreciate this every now and then) and a dessert to my dessert.

snow that makes me feel cozy and safe driving in the car across the city with d.

sitting in a dark apartment with my craft sale heating pad, a grey sky outside and ipod singing me the songs i love on shuffle.

This is why I love you...